9th (Poem)

9th: Audio

Let’s tell a story about a young boy who had an ambition then lost it

He thought he had a grip on it then it slipped

He let it drip to the pavement

I guess that’s the treatment he deserved for letting his guard down

He let the people drown him

Ripped his soul out his chest and sinked it

What was one to do after taking so many hits

Call it quits

Nah he couldn’t give in to the tricks

He kept trying to hit them with the matrix

That just didn’t work

He felt like they were jerks

Disturbed by their presence

He wanted to eliminate his existence

Suicidal thoughts roamed through his mind

But he couldn’t rewind

So he tries to stay on his grind

While his life continued to be declined

He’s feeling so much pain inside

Just want to commit suicide

Horrified by his past

He’s tired of being an outcast

While time continues to past

He’s depressed

He had an encounter with a rapist

It’s still hard to digest

Life is out of his interest

The quest is over

A jokester on the outside and a loser on the inside

He tries to defy the odds but odds aren’t on his side

This is his fight 

Last fight he had he ask for help and was given a boot

Man he’s screwed

The fight he has every night

Each night he cries 

When will he rise

I guess never 

The worst thing is he is me

I am him

I just want to be extinct

I think I said too much

No, stop it cause if I’m embarrassing someone then it’s over

Starting to lose my composure

I know its over

I tuck my tail and run everyday

What happens to my confidence 

It’s gone along with my dominance

I’m feeling like an incompetence

I’m going through it with my conscience

To others this is nonsense

Feels like I’m going crazy

I just need to escape

Angry at my mistakes

I fell for so many tricks when will it be fixed

I’m mixed with different emotions

People turned there back on me after I took my hand out the dirt

But that’s all they wanted from me, man that really hurts

So busy trying to make others happy

Man that’s so wacky

People wonder why I say B.I.Y

Cause I believe in myself no matter what

Man this gets so deep

Everyone just wanted a treat

So I had to compete

When all I wanted was to write

But that wasn’t right

I had to go along with my appearance

If I got to go with my appearance

I mind as well join my generation

And smoke one for the team

I thought I was reigning supreme

Because I put the pen to the paper

Instead of putting the glocks in the air and get the popping

They say the past is the past

But the past last forever

I thought I had it all in my grasp

I went with plan B but now I think plan A was the one

Instead, I’m hung out to dry and left to die

It all changed after the 9th 

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