3 Months

3 Months

The last 3 months
It’s been hard, I can’t front
I lost my brother
Watch the casket close on my brother
My tears and I were seeing each other more often
I was trying to keep my distance from my therapist
The only one that made me feel heard and shit
Cause I saw no point in bettering myself now
Rather wait till I move out
The more I try now, the more my heart says I hurt her
Feeling like I can’t win
Traumatized from my childhood
And told to forget, like these nightmares aren’t here
I threw away my knife so those thoughts aren’t near
I’m missing my old knife, I fear
The more I think about myself, the more the tears are out
So I form marijuana clouds in my mouth
To escape this world
When the smoke clears, I have tears rolling down my face
And nothing but dreams of my escape
Knees to chest curled up cause I’m fucking depressed
Work has me stressed
I barely have any energy left
To type on the keys
I just want to be free

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