Weekly Thoughts #100: The Truth About My Health Is About To Be Revealed
Finally told my doctors I am depressed. Now I talk about being depressed a lot, but I was never been diagnosed with it. I have depression screenings every year. They asked me about depression while in the process of having bariatric surgery, but I lied. I always do. But this time I thought for once maybe I shouldn’t. Now I have an appointment with a therapist for 2 months. That’s great, I think. The more I talked to them about depression and what I felt. I felt like my mental pool was getting deeper. I mentioned my temper. That led to a whole different recommendation into psychiatry. We’ll see what happens next. My mental health journey officially begins now.
Seen my special doctors as well. I would tell you what, but I’m taking that part of me to the grave. Found an influencer of sorts talking about his experience with it and made me want to not feel so ashamed about it. But I’m not at that point where I want to tell. Maybe in the future or maybe I’ll take it to the grave. Took so much to out of me to make that phone call. But I was tired of not knowing the issue and how to correct it. I want to live a long time and don’t want a little appointment to stop me from living awhile. So that appointment went well. My levels were actually higher than it was when I was obese. I’m on track to see if my other issue is major or not.
My Bariatric appointment after 2 years post op went well. The last time I saw the team was maybe 2020 or a little before that. Since then I went from 308 pounds to 275 pounds. So about 33 pounds. It should be more, but the pandemic and not being able to be in the gym slowed my process down. Health wise I’m still on the right track. I was in the gym lately and I’m going to be lower really soon.
Lately I have been reconsidering. I went from writing pieces like mountains where I emphasized wanting to escape my current life. Like moving far away and now I want to stay and help my mother. I used to blame her for my depression now I just want to clear hers. I even gave her a new nickname. I call her my heart. Because even though I was depressed and didn’t like her doubts. She kept me wanting more, even if it was to get away. Now the meaning is more related to her toughness that she showed in all my 23 years of life. No matter how many didn’t or still don’t see her worth. I see it. Happy belated birthday to My Heart. Her birthday was Tuesday, by the way. I got her two things. Some little charms from Pandora. Technically, one was from my nephew, Celtic.
That’s really it with my life in these past 2 weeks. I have been in and out of the doctor’s offices. Blood work seems to be the thing I have been doing the most. As I write this on Thursday night, I am set to have a 8 am blood test done tomorrow. That should be my last one for at least 3 months. Until next time check out the latest posts down below.