To think I wrote this poem awhile ago when I was feeling down about myself. These were my actual thoughts from a couple of years ago. It’s a blessing that I’m the man that I was looking for in the mirror. Not the complete man that I saw in my dreams, but a portion of him. Anyway, enjoy the poem below.


Waking up in this body
Looking down at a belly
Wishing I could step in some love like R. Kelly 
But really

Who would want me?
I just want to be the man that I see in the mirror 
The man in my dreams 

I’m him
Just a bigger version 
It’s like I want to wake up to a Lamborghini but instead, it’s an excursion 
This type of thinking scares me

When I think of myself as impaired 
But I really can’t ever see my heart being paired
Because I barely like to breathe air
Thinking like why god couldn’t be fair?

It was fair in the beginning, but I brought the rest of the weight on me
It’s a sad world when I start to hate on me
Because I just dream of a better me
When will the days change for me?

I know it’s all in my head 
Wishing I wasn’t well fed
Wishing I was dead
Words from my insecurities 

Video from when I was feeling like this.

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