This year was what it was. In my personal life, I experienced a loving friendship that felt like one wanted more than the other. Then I experienced a feeling like heartbreak, I guess. Where the feelings for one disappeared out of thin air. Anyway, let’s just let the poetry speak for itself. Enjoy and Happy New Year’s Eve.
Letter to Her:
Sometimes I wish I never met you
It’s like I fell in love with the idea of you
I thought the pics of you was enough
But in person you was adorable
I liked how you adored me when I didn’t even like my reflection
In a little time you became my best friend
The emotions you made me unlock to write a masterpiece like her
I never thought I would write a love piece, but you made that possible
For that I will forever rock with you
But we fell out
Sometimes I think it’s because you had love for me
But I only seen you as a bestie
They always say love is strong but lust is even stronger
In my head I knew staying around just for pleasure would be even more wrong
How could I become the men that tried to groom me?
No, I got to be better
I became distant when love and lust no longer looked alike
I can’t lie
Like I didn’t enjoy your company
I’ll always be one phone call away
When you need a shoulder to cry on ,
I use to check up on you weekly
But I knew you missed us speaking
We both said we don’t want a relationship
But we know we didn’t act like it
FaceTime calls till 2 in the morning
I’m talking while you falling asleep and then I all I hear is you snoring
Right before you hit mute
Man that stuff be so cute
Late night car rides
Was such a vibe with no music
We just listened to each other voice
Call each other besties but we stayed kissing on each other lips
I was older, but you was experienced
I can’t lie like you didn’t teach me some things
But I’m a fast learner
2 finger combo look kinda like a burner
Not even 2 minutes before you started bussing
You felt embarrassed, but I just started blushing
As blood started rushing down ,
Do I really wish I never met you?
I don’t know really, I’m just vibing
Vibing to the memories that we shared
My favorite moments are when I took your air
But when lust and love started looking clear
I started thinking about all the things I didn’t like
For instance, I’m a low key type of guy
And you out here telling these people about me
And I don’t even know these people
All bad things like we didn’t have pleasant moments
Letting them insult me
Man, I guess that’s where that age started showing
Then you wanted the girlfriend lifestyle, but I been said I wasn’t into that life
I thought we had an understanding
I said I wasn’t ready
I can tell that disapproval weighed heavy
You always seemed like you was putting your past dude’s weight on my shoulders
That was a weight as heavy as a bolder
I don’t know what they did or thought of you, but I know it was enough to weigh your confidence down
That’s something I wished I could have seen more of
But I can’t put the blame all on you it was times when I tried to hide a message instead of being blunt
Told you in the beginning I wasn’t ready financially or mentally
I remember you took that jokingly
Laughed at the words that came from my mouth
Like I was telling a joke
But I will not mope
Not ready financially Means no money in my pocket
You want to see a movie but my pockets is empty
You want me to take you out to eat but I don’t have nothing to feed you with
Get it?
Mentally I’m not ready
I still have my days when depression is weighing heavy
My biggest fear is lashing out on someone I care about
I’m just vibing don’t even know if this is going out
Still, this is my letter to her
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