Mixed Feelings (Poem)

Mixed Feelings: Something I wrote in 2018 when I was having mixed feelings about life. It’s some old thoughts that’s not me anymore. I hope.

Mixed Feelings:

My mind used to be really fucked up, just going through it

Was feeling like I was about to lose it

I hear people say watch out for the snakes

Always turn to your fam to escape

But what you do when they are the snake

Every verse I ever wrote was a diss to the people that changed my diaper

Use to hate on me because I wanted to be a writer

Now they want to love me cause I’m getting higher

Had me wanting to grab a J and the lighter

Just to blow past everyday life

It felt like I was getting beaten up but I didn’t have any arms to fight

Found myself trying to schemes of ways to take my own life

I admitted this before but I want you to hear it again and again till you can’t get it out your head

I found myself wishing I run into the feds

And this black skin be enough for them to pull the trigger and send me straight to heaven

I would say hell but I don’t believe in it cause even I don’t like some of the stuff I create

But I would never make them feel the hate

I would always be at their side supporting them

Some of the things I wish I had

They say K I thought you were done with depression

If you didn’t know depression put a ring on it now I’m married to it

You’ll never know wassup with it

Until you meet it

My only advice is to never change

Because you don’t want this pain

You don’t want to be like me wishing you were the paper at a gun range

Every day I say I’m good but I’m not

Don’t worry about me I’m just having mixed feelings

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