This poem takes me back to a point in time when I really gave up on my writing. Hope you enjoy me venting on my downfall.
I fucked up to the point where I don’t want to start again
Now here comes that pain
I used to say the one thing I fear is giving up
Now I don’t fear it because I’m becoming the quitter I never thought I become
Now it’s on me to start again or settle for what I become
The more I settle the more I feel dumb
How did I ever get beat like a drum
I really want to live a long life
But the fact that I feel like I won’t make it to 22 makes me feel like a low life
I really want to drop a book but the hating ass family comments always surface
That type of shit make me want to leave earth
But I need to stand my ground in this turf
Momma say I need god and church
But god know me and my flaws so what I need church for
I just been fucked lately, shit just been hitting my core
I just want to lose this weight and finally feel reborn
Maybe then I’ll gain the courage to perform
The depression keeps talking got me going through the storm
I just want to get away to some place warm
Where I can relax and have peace
Maybe finally I’ll take a pic where I cheese
Instead of this mean mug
I mug cause shit keeps hitting me make me just not give a fuck
I want to make it far but I’m just stuck
Stuck between my comfort zone and bi polar as people
People I shouldn’t worry about cause we not equal
Me going against them couldn’t even make it to see a sequel
I’m just that lethal
I know i shouldn’t feed into it
Because half of these haters are see through
Meaning there’s nothing behind that disguise that they wearing
Always hating but steady staring
Waiting for that moment when you got bestselling next to your name
That’s the same thing that’s going be next to my name
I swear I miss this Spoken Word shit
It’s only been a couple of months since i called it quits
And I already miss it
Fuck quiting, this my notice I’m back to it
I swear i’m going to make it
There’s no debating
It’s history in the making
