H.I.T.M (Poem)

This poem takes me back to a point in time when I really gave up on my writing. Hope you enjoy me venting on my downfall.

I fucked up to the point where I don’t want to start again

Now here comes that pain

I used to say the one thing I fear is giving up

Now I don’t fear it because I’m becoming the quitter I never thought I become

Now it’s on me to start again or settle for what I become

The more I settle the more I feel dumb

How did I ever get beat like a drum

I really want to live a long life

But the fact that I feel like I won’t make it to 22 makes me feel like a low life

I really want to drop a book but the hating ass family comments always surface

That type of shit make me want to leave earth

But I need to stand my ground in this turf

Momma say I need god and church

But god know me and my flaws so what I need church for

I just been fucked lately, shit just been hitting my core

I just want to lose this weight and finally feel reborn

Maybe then I’ll gain the courage to perform

The depression keeps talking got me going through the storm

I just want to get away to some place warm

Where I can relax and have peace

Maybe finally I’ll take a pic where I cheese

Instead of this mean mug

I mug cause shit keeps hitting me make me just not give a fuck

I want to make it far but I’m just stuck

Stuck between my comfort zone and bi polar as people

People I shouldn’t worry about cause we not equal

Me going against them couldn’t even make it to see a sequel

I’m just that lethal

I know i shouldn’t feed into it

Because half of these haters are see through

Meaning there’s nothing behind that disguise that they wearing

Always hating but steady staring

Waiting for that moment when you got bestselling next to your name

That’s the same thing that’s going be next to my name

I swear I miss this Spoken Word shit

It’s only been a couple of months since i called it quits

And I already miss it

Fuck quiting, this my notice I’m back to it

I swear i’m going to make it

There’s no debating

It’s history in the making

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