I would have to say, “Don’t Ask Me That Shit”. Just because it was different from anything I had created before that moment. It was more raw energy and passion to it. Although I cursed a lot in it. I really showed a lot of people that side of me you don’t want to meet. I remember someone had ticked me off that day. It sparked something greater.
You know sometimes someone can push your buttons and make you want to create something to shut them up. One of my worst memories was being forced to play football in high school. I know it’s a weird one. But ever since then I have a strong hatred for football.
If I remember correctly someone was in my head about football and how I was wasting my life by pursuing my dreams. I should pursue the career that my physical appearance would be in. Basically, I should be playing because I’m big and fat. So it just pissed me off because I heard that same statement or statements like that throughout my short life. Whether it was coaches that wanted a new player, or my peers, or just random people who were a fan of football. Their favorite lines are “You know you can make a lot of money from it.” Or “All you got to do is stand on the line and block”.
So that day just sent me over the edge and I just wanted to make a statement. The only way I knew how to. I did a lot of rhyming and really just letting out bars. But when you really listen to my broken English because I stuttered a bit, it really got deep. My favorite lines from that was
“Have you ever seen your mother look down on you
The one person that you want to make happy
Look down like you weren’t even hers
That type of thing made me want to ride away in a hearse
But quitting my dreams made me feel worst”
I guess those lines stuck out because they were emotions that I never told anyone before. As a kid you just always want to make your parents happy and at that point in my life, I felt like I wasn’t. The more I wanted to quit, the more I felt like shit. But when you abandon your dreams it feels even worse. I stopped writing for almost 4 years of my life. Just to pursue dreams that weren’t even mines. Yeah, I’m going too deep. I’m just going to leave off with this random thoughts.